ONE is the Loneliest number

One is a pretty lonely number. When ever I see a number one I think of this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUlw3ACdN5s

For awhile now I've felt like this song. I feel like all of my friends are moving on with their life. Getting married, finding their other half, moving away, starting their own family. Its been REALLY hard.

It makes me feel like what's wrong with me? Why can't I move on with my life or family like everyone else? Why can't I find my soul mate? Why can't I find my Edward Cullens? WHY?

Well fokes I had revelation while I was in the shower! For some reason all my ideas or my deep thoughts happen after I take a shower. I've decided that number one is a great number! Its not a lonely number at all. Its GREAT being single. Its great living the single life dating around and being selfish. There is nothing wrong with me. IN FACT it wasn't me at all, it was the guys I was dating. I was thinking about how grateful I am to be single, a lonely number one if you will. I get to do whatever I want any time I want, no questions asked. I get to spend my WHOLE paycheck on ME! I get to stay up as late as I want with the lights on. I get to watch whatever sappy love movie I want. I get to leave out of state or country in a whim if I so please. I am so grateful to be single right now. I don't think tell this very moment I realised how grateful I am. This is a time of my life that I will never get back again. I really need to enjoy every minute and live it up.

I've also decided that right now isn't a very good time for me to be serious with someone. I've noticed in my past experiences with serious relationships that I try to become what that guy is looking for. I lose myself and sacrifice what I want for what his needs are. I've noticed that what his wants and needs are now my wants and needs. How fair is that to me? I have released that I really don't LIKE: golf, watching sports on the TV, playing Halo all night long, being a secret, talking over IM or texting all day long about nothing, Baseball, watching movies all the time, Anamie, doing nothing. Seriously, this is just a few of the things that I was totally interested in because the guy I was dating was interested. I would always be the one the would rearrange my schedule to be able to spend time with that person when the occasion called for it. Well NO more! I need to figure out what I like or don't like. I want to do things I want to do and not visa versa. I need to truly love myself before I can love some one else. I've also decided that I'm not afraid of being alone any more. The number ONE isn't as lonely as I thought it was. I am number ONE!